I have approached this birthday with much apprehension and trepidation. Besides turning a year older, I have been kinda peeping at the 30th, waiting for it come and go so that I can move beyond it.
But I am FEELING these 27 yrs. I am still young, but my body is not responding well to these extra 120lbs I have tacked onto it and made it carry for all these years. I am, of course, finally doing something about it, but it's a "slow go" and I hate the way my scale creeps lower at its own pace. And sometimes creeps up. This week, like the last one, was a creep up. I am 285 today on my birthday and I am NOT happy about it. I wanted to weigh in at 279 or lower and I have missed that goal by 6lbs and feeling kind of bummed. Add that to some personal troubles I am having, I am just NOT in the birthday spirit.
And I always feel like I don't celebrate my birthday correctly. Most people my age get wasted and party and that is just not what I want to do. I feel too mature for the "get wasted and drunk dance on the table" type atmosphere. And my family is big on going out for "nice" dinners for birthdays, but I am tired of rewarding myself with food. My unhealthy relationship with food is what got me here and I don't want to do something to encourage it.
So what do I want to do for my birthday? I want to hit the gym and then dance sweaty in my boyshorts and tank top for my husband. TMI, but its MY blog and I can share what I want!! :-)
We are going to head out of town in a few days to Atlantic City and hit the casinos and spend some much needed time together.
Even though today has been kind of a bummer, I take solace in the fact that my next birthday will be spent taking millions of pictures at my goal weight.
I am blessed to have seen this day and I can't wait to spend many many many many more like it.
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