I was having a good day today. I started with a killer 1400 cal workout (that almost killed me, literally) and I stuck to my diet, ate under 1500 cals and drank more than 1.5 liters of water. Was feeling awesome all day.
Went to YouTube to watch some videos of weight loss transformations for inspiration. Ended up watching Christina Aguilera's video for "in this skin" and the darkness rolled in.
I swear, I was almost in tears by the second verse and I spent the next 2 hours doing damage control.
I have been overweight for my entire adult life and that song reminded that I haven't felt really good about my body in almost ten years (cue the violins). I was so proud of myself for breaking the depression today and here I was, sitting still while allowing it to lower its ugly cloud over me.
I browsed through dozens of country videos (for some reason, country music boosts my mood) and then I settled for my failsafe:
P!nk.
She is the epitome of self expression, honesty and self love. She is totally like "I'm weird, so what? dont like it? fuck you!" and I LOVE that about her. so here are my faves for the down mood that needs to be upped. Click and enjoy whenever needed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asaCQOZpqUQ&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJfFZqTlWrQ&feature=relmfu
She also has a song called "fuckin perfect" that I love, but I won't post the link here because it's very triggering for those who may be suffering from or recovered from an ED. I used to suffer from one and it was difficult to watch, but the lyrics are so powerful.
"Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead"
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